So. As I began packing Thursday night for a TAPS event with the kids and mary and Roy, my heart was extremely heavy.
As I sit here I remember, through the tears, uttering the words.
“This will never get any easier.”
As I just looked at the empty side of the suit case and just boo hoo as I fold my own clothes and place in there. (I know I know. He really did pack for me. So so special. Hes the absolute best.)
I snapped a picture then realized I couldn’t do this tonight so I just went and got on the couch.
The next morning I get up and the darn suitcase was still there. Making me feel some type of way. I dk why I thought if I left it alone it might finish packing itself but it didn’t.
As the kids laid their clothes in there and on the bed, I got to folding them and began to thank God I could fold their clothes and that we were getting to do this together.
Heart still heavy and full of tears I finally get us packed up.
The struggle was real. Really was.
But ohhhh don’t His Word promise us, He is close to the brokenhearted.
Though every heavy moment I would whisper I love you Lord. As my heart just wanted to curl up in a ball and not move.
This inner strength is His I know without a doubt.
Well we all get loaded up and I run back in for something and I decided to go use the restroom and as I look out the window…. there was one little turtle. Appearing to wave at me in the water. I smiled and watched it until it went back under the water.
Mind you. I haven’t seen turtles on this side of the house in a few weeks. They seem to have found their way to the other side of the lake lol. And added importance of the turtles 🐢, Derek absolutely loved watching them.
We get to the hotel and none of us sleep well the 1st night.
I turn on the music so we can have it playing throughout the night, I wake up and gratitude is playing.
My heart smiled.
Ok baby.
I hear you.
I got up, took a walk outside and found my smile.
Literally. Wrinkles and all. 😁😁😁
(There should be an emoji with eye wrinkles, just saying.)
So so much this weekend of heaven on earth my heart was dancing and singing in the arms of my savior and my baby.
As We pack up and I grab his picture that we always carry with us, I spoke the words out loud.
“Thank you God that this will never get any easier.”
In the hard we seek.
In the hard we remember.
In the hard we find.
In the hard, tangible comes.
Things are not meant to get easier.
Things are meant to bring about greater Love.
Greater Hope.
Greater Grace.
Greater mercy.
Greater community.
Greater tangible.
Greater heaven.
Greater God.
And it’s in the “never get any earlier”
That we realize their presence is there all along. Even more stronger when we’re paying attention to what’s there verses what’s not.
Never leaving.
Never fading.
Always providing.
Just watching and protecting us, differently.
I know without a doubt my baby was with me every step of the way of the packing, the going and unpacking.
All throughout the journey.
Hes there with our amazing Lord and Savior.
Sometimes, in the heavy, we tend to take our eyes off Jesus. And it takes perseverance to get back there.
Nothing is wasted in those hard moments friends.
It’s not about not having the hard, it’s what you do with them.
We are all grieving something.
Place that in ABBA daddy’s hands and watch how He works it all for the Good of those that Love Him.
Dont give up in your hard.
Press through in the empty. Fold and
Fill it up with love and laughter and know…
You are never ever alone.
And you are Loved beyond understanding!
Jeremiah 33.3
Joshua 1.9
1st Corinthians 13
So. As I began packing Thursday night for a TAPS event with the kids and mary and Roy, my heart was extremely heavy.
As I sit here I remember, through the tears, uttering the words.
“This will never get any easier.”
As I just looked at the empty side of the suit case and just boo hoo as I fold my own clothes and place in there. (I know I know. He really did pack for me. So so special. Hes the absolute best.)
I snapped a picture then realized I couldn’t do this tonight so I just went and got on the couch.
The next morning I get up and the darn suitcase was still there. Making me feel some type of way. I dk why I thought if I left it alone it might finish packing itself but it didn’t.
As the kids laid their clothes in there and on the bed, I got to folding them and began to thank God I could fold their clothes and that we were getting to do this together.
Heart still heavy and full of tears I finally get us packed up.
The struggle was real. Really was.
But ohhhh don’t His Word promise us, He is close to the brokenhearted.
Though every heavy moment I would whisper I love you Lord. As my heart just wanted to curl up in a ball and not move.
This enter strength is His I know without a doubt.
Well we all get loaded up and I run back in for something and I decided to go use the restroom and as I look out then window…. there was one little turtle. Appearing to wave at me in the water. I smiled and watched it until it went back under the water.
Mind you. I haven’t seen turtles on this side of the house in a few weeks. They seem to have found their way to the other side of the lake lol.
We get to the hotel and none of us sleep well the 1st night.
I turn on the music so we can have it playing throughout the night, I wake up and gratitude is playing.
My heart smiled.
Ok baby.
I hear you.
I got up, took a walk outside and found my smile.
Literally. Wrinkles and all. 😁😁😁
(There should be an emoji with eye wrinkles, just saying.)
So so much this weekend of heaven on earth my heart was dancing and singing in the arms of my savior and my baby.
As
We pack up and I grab his picture that we always carry with us, I spoke the words out loud.
“Thank you God that this will never get any easier.”
In the hard we seek.
In the hard we remember.
In the hard we find.
In the hard, tangible comes.
Things are not meant to get easier.
Things are meant to bring about greater Love.
Greater Hope.
Greater Grace.
Greater mercy.
Greater community.
Greater tangible.
Greater heaven.
Greater God.
And it’s in the “never get any earlier”
That we realize their presence is there all along. Even more stronger when we’re paying attention on what’s there verses what’s not.
Never leaving.
Never fading.
Always providing.
Just watching and protecting us, differently.
I know without a doubt my baby was with me every step of the way of the packing, the going and unpacking.
All throughout the journey.
Hes there with our amazing Lord and Savior.
Sometimes, in the heavy, we tend to take our eyes off Jesus. And it takes perseverance to get back there.
Nothing is wasted in those hard moments friends.
It’s not about not having the hard, it’s what you do with them.
We are all grieving something.
Place that in ABBA daddy’s hands and watch how He works it all for the Good of those that Love Him.
Dont give up in your hard.
Press through in the empty.
Fill it up with love and laughter and know…
You are never ever alone.
And you are Loved beyond understanding!
Jeremiah 33.3
Joshua 1.9
1st Corinthians 13
